You’re suffocating me
Did you not listen
When I said I’m not ready
I’ll never be for you
This ideal picture of grace
I’ll never be the one
That keeps showing my face
I can’t be the one you run to
Or the one you call home
I can’t keep going in circles
Pretending you’re the one I love
I don’t know what love is
I’ve never really tried
When you asked me if I could love you someday
I came up with a lie
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready
I don’t know if you’re the one I want
You tell everyone we’re endgame
That I’m the girl you’ll marry
But what if I can’t love myself
What if I can’t carry
This weight you’ve put on my back
To be the couple
That never cracks
The one you dream about each night
Or the one with whom
You’ll fantasize a life
I can’t be that girl
Not now maybe not ever
I’m not the one you want
I can’t feel like I’m tethered
This game we play each time
It break little pieces of me inside
I hate to be the one
To be the first to run
I’ve never had control
I’m not the same girl you thought you’d know
I’m terrified to fall
My past shows it all
I’m not ready to be
The girl you love
The girl you need.