The soft breeze on a hot summer day
or listening to the kids yelling as they play
the warmth of a blanket on a rainy fall night
staring up at the stars wondering how they got so bright
sitting with a good friend
not worrying about how the day will end
being home for every holiday
always having a place to stay
though I didn’t choose this place
I will always remember to give thanks
to the one who put me here
the God above who paid my debt
and loved me though I didn’t know Him yet
Author: Kaesi
Knocking on Death’s Door
Standing there again
In the pouring rain
Feeling all the pain
I have been here before
Knocking on death’s door
Trying to find my mind
Without you inside
You married a man
Leaving me with no plan
Of where to go
Or whom to hold
So here I stand
On soiled land
Just one step
Through muck and mud
Then just one glance
Into his eyes
He says he’d ne’er
Tell me lies
His grin so eerie
The empty eyes
I take his hand
It feels so cold
Now with death
I will find
My way back home
Please eat
A tear rolls down your face
As you look at me in disgrace
I look at the plate in front of me
Full of food I may never eat
Please you say
The word rushing down your face
Please eat
My brain tells me no
It says you can’t eat this food
And it’s not because I’m full
But because when I do eat
I’ll turn into a monster
Someone you’ve never known
Someone you’d never want to know
You say it again please eat
Why won’t you eat
You’re perfect
But I don’t see what you see
You won’t want to see what I turn into
I hate mirrors
Because they show me
A part of me I don’t want to see
I hate scales
Because I’m never small enough
I hate food
Because with every bite
I become more and more of a failure
I hate myself
Because I keep me from seeing
My own beauty
But still you look at me
And say please eat
When You Said Goodbye
When you said goodbye
Did you think to cry
Did it break your heart
Like it broke mine
From dancing in the rain
To smiling through the pain
I built up these walls
You made them all fall
I picked myself up
Piece by piece
While you stood there
Laughing at me
What I did I don’t know
But you had to go
For yourself you said
But what I dread
Is what you really meant
Was I not your type
When you said goodbye
Was I too broken for you
Was it ever really true
When you said I love you
You moved on so fast
I thought you might crash
Into the idea of new people
Now I’m staring through a crack
In these walls I put right back
When you said goodbye
You didn’t even try
To find a way
To fix the pain
That we went through
Day by day
Colors
Red blue yellow pink green
Your favorite color changed everything
My favorite color used to be blue
Blue like the sky
Blue like the tears rushing from my blue eyes
Then you came around and it changed
Yellow like the sun
Or like the joy I felt when I heard your name
Then when you left it changed to red
Red like the anger in my head
Red like the devil on your shoulder
The one that told you
You aren’t worthy
The one that said you’re better off dead
But when you left
He walked in
Then it changed to green
Green like the grass
Or like the leaves that blow in the breeze
As he walked away it changed to pink
Pink as everyone else likes
Pink because if I’m like the rest
Maybe someone will want to stay